into marvelous light we run

i thought coming back to kolkata i would be refreshed for more than one day; i had hoped though i wasnt fully convinced this would be reality. But what a beautiful day Monday was, even though the evening was hard. What joy filled my heart to be back in my home, to be back with the ladies at sb who bring a smile to my face and warmth to my heart. one of the training ladies in particular often makes me laugh from the bottom of my stomach - she has much trouble hearing so it takes a lot to get her attention during class. she has an awesome sense of humor on top of that so often does things intentionally to get a laugh. she speaks hindi instead of bangla so often does hand motions to try to talk to me... oh its so funny. she brought me mishtis on monday (sweets) in honor of the holiday last week.

ive had a hard last few days. my eyes can not stop seeing that girl on her bed - she doesnt just represent herself but a vast amount of girls who have been thrown into a similar situation. her life has been taken from her, an expression of numbness i see in her face at what she has been forced to live. ive thought a lot lately about the relationship of suffering to redemption but i cant stop my own questions of why this suffering is necessary. how can this be happening. why is it okay; permitted by so many people that it is happening. she deserves her freedom just as much as i. it was really hard to go but something has to be done - someone has to enter in. i wish i could give her her freedom.

we sang a song this evening at a friend's house after dinner that spoke of the redemption we have found in Christ, how were running out of the darkness into the light of Jesus. it was a song we ended thinking of the girls who are suffering- that even though there's so much darkness we are running toward the light. i think what were told to do with suffering, hardship - endure by continually running back to the light

its really hard to be here - to be here i am asked to give parts of myself that i dont want to give, that i feel like i shouldnt have to give. but people here have to give them or they have to give more

i almost partook in a puja today - because the big fesival just happened, the time has come for the goddess to be taken to the river. there were two of the same goddess in the room because she had not yet been taken to the river and the old one was going to get the worship - the holy man came in and set everything up, removing dishes from its small platform and setting up his things - always a bell, always a horn, an incense stick. we left before he began i was so relieved

its so awesome when i can speak with people and so disappointing when i cant understand - id like to say it comes and goes with the wind because this is how it feels. one conversation: no problem. another conversation i imagine people want to ask: 'are you sure youre learning bengali?"

please continue to pray over my time here, it is still sometimes very hard. i dont know if i mentioned before but we secured the building to open another branch of sb! this is beautiful as it is in the same place where we visit women now - better opportunity for them to come work. the leadership staff of sb are amazing, it has been so encouraging to work with them in devotion class and english class. please pray for them as they seek to know Jesus more and take over more responsibility of sb

sending much love from kolkata and thanks for your faithfulness to jesus